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[Champion Suggestion] Zaygara, The Revenge Seeker.

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1DeSSaSteR1

Senior Member

01-11-2015

thank you guys for the 300 views , its a pretty good start for me and it is very helpful.


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FloRaider42

Senior Member

01-11-2015

Sorry for the delay, but I finally found the time to give you some feedback.

Lore:
The lore is decent, but I found some inconsistencies that I wanted to point out.
"train on his assassin abilities" Which assassins abilities ? He was inspired by his father and tried to become like him, which normally means he wanted to become a warrior or tactician, where did he pick up the assassin stuff ?
I didn't know that Zed takes up students so easily, maybe expand on this or leave it out as right now it asks more questions than it answers.
His reason to become a champion is rather generic, but I guess it works.

I understand his rivals, but how did he befriend Master Yi and ,as mentioned before, Zed ?

Appearence:
His appearence is more on the generic side, but I wonder where he got the fancy katana and mask from.
I know it looks cool, but carrying a sword on the back is more dangerous for the wielder than for the enemy.

Quotes:
He got the katana from his dad ? Maybe more intel ?
Not really a dance...
You will not be able to beat the Kata-Garen ship like this, it's too forced.
Some of the taunts seem unnecessary as the characters have no real relation.

Stats:
Health, Armor and MR are high for an assassin.
The other stats seem fine.

Passive:
Contrary to your belief I actually think that most champions have logical abilities (for the setting).
Since wards have similiar sight mechanics it seems odd that they cannot see him while champions can.
The fact that the wards have a warning is not very useful as you need to watch the ward in order to notice it (as far as I understood).
It also seems awfully similiar to Evelynns but less fitting, as your kit has mobility, CC and range.

Q:
The initial damage seems rather low and the additional effects seem strange.
The bleed part seems more suited for poking than for assassinating and the slow seems unnecessary as you already have dashes and stuns.
The empowered aspect lacks some power as it basically just lets you recast the same ablity, with some minor tweaks.

W:
The passive seems fine.
The active seems odd on an assassin and very strong.
The range and damage are very high and the CD and delay too low, unless the size is very small this ability needs some tweaks.
The empowered version gives another free cast, but this time it is weakened a bit.

E:
The CD reset seems odd as well as the ability power scaling.
Having two and potentially three dashes seems strong for such a low CD.
The stun from the empowered version seems strong as you can stun 3 people and easily follow up with W.

Ultimate:
Does the active have an CD ? The bonus range seems high as well as the additional damage.
The passive seems odd as it generates fury very slowly and stops regeneration for some time, even if the empowered E and W are rather strong the passive is very weak in TF and will only allow one empowered ability during one fight.

Special Event:
Why do you dislike Darius so much ?
Unlike other events it is onesided, both in lore and gameplay (Darius doesn't even know who he is and gains no buff for the event)
You could always make it purely cosmetic: Each participant gets a special taunt after winning and maybe some visual indicator (burning nametag, head of the enemy attached to the weapon etc.)
Since it only triggers on minute 35:00 anyway it is not very useful as Darius is only powerful in early game.


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1DeSSaSteR1

Senior Member

01-11-2015

Quote:
FloRaider42:
Sorry for the delay, but I finally found the time to give you some feedback.

Lore:
The lore is decent, but I found some inconsistencies that I wanted to point out.
"train on his assassin abilities" Which assassins abilities ? He was inspired by his father and tried to become like him, which normally means he wanted to become a warrior or tactician, where did he pick up the assassin stuff ?
I didn't know that Zed takes up students so easily, maybe expand on this or leave it out as right now it asks more questions than it answers.
His reason to become a champion is rather generic, but I guess it works.

I understand his rivals, but how did he befriend Master Yi and ,as mentioned before, Zed ?

Appearence:
His appearence is more on the generic side, but I wonder where he got the fancy katana and mask from.
I know it looks cool, but carrying a sword on the back is more dangerous for the wielder than for the enemy.

Quotes:
He got the katana from his dad ? Maybe more intel ?
Not really a dance...
You will not be able to beat the Kata-Garen ship like this, it's too forced.
Some of the taunts seem unnecessary as the characters have no real relation.

Stats:
Health, Armor and MR are high for an assassin.
The other stats seem fine.

Passive:
Contrary to your belief I actually think that most champions have logical abilities (for the setting).
Since wards have similiar sight mechanics it seems odd that they cannot see him while champions can.
The fact that the wards have a warning is not very useful as you need to watch the ward in order to notice it (as far as I understood).
It also seems awfully similiar to Evelynns but less fitting, as your kit has mobility, CC and range.

Q:
The initial damage seems rather low and the additional effects seem strange.
The bleed part seems more suited for poking than for assassinating and the slow seems unnecessary as you already have dashes and stuns.
The empowered aspect lacks some power as it basically just lets you recast the same ablity, with some minor tweaks.

W:
The passive seems fine.
The active seems odd on an assassin and very strong.
The range and damage are very high and the CD and delay too low, unless the size is very small this ability needs some tweaks.
The empowered version gives another free cast, but this time it is weakened a bit.

E:
The CD reset seems odd as well as the ability power scaling.
Having two and potentially three dashes seems strong for such a low CD.
The stun from the empowered version seems strong as you can stun 3 people and easily follow up with W.

Ultimate:
Does the active have an CD ? The bonus range seems high as well as the additional damage.
The passive seems odd as it generates fury very slowly and stops regeneration for some time, even if the empowered E and W are rather strong the passive is very weak in TF and will only allow one empowered ability during one fight.

Special Event:
Why do you dislike Darius so much ?
Unlike other events it is onesided, both in lore and gameplay (Darius doesn't even know who he is and gains no buff for the event)
You could always make it purely cosmetic: Each participant gets a special taunt after winning and maybe some visual indicator (burning nametag, head of the enemy attached to the weapon etc.)
Since it only triggers on minute 35:00 anyway it is not very useful as Darius is only powerful in early game.

Thank you so much for what you've said , it REALLLLY helped me realize my faults and made a HUUUGE improvement on the champion, i looked into all what you've said and changed a lot of things, thanks for your support Bro, but i'm not changing the dance i like it and i want to see that in league :3 check it out again if you can and tell me if i need to Edit anything else. thank you again


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1DeSSaSteR1

Senior Member

01-12-2015

Bump! any other opinions and feedback ?!?!?


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juliojk

Junior Member

01-13-2015

as i see the champion well balanced with a good lore which is not out of line (y) not so OP and not so weak /good abilities /perfect stats /after you edited everything and made a new passive etc ... the champion is good now and i love that event the most. Good job mate Thumbs up !


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1DeSSaSteR1

Senior Member

01-13-2015

Quote:
juliojk:
as i see the champion well balanced with a good lore which is not out of line (y) not so OP and not so weak /good abilities /perfect stats /after you edited everything and made a new passive etc ... the champion is good now and i love that event the most. Good job mate Thumbs up !

So glad that you liked him and thank you for the feedback mate. Peace


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1DeSSaSteR1

Senior Member

01-15-2015

Bump!


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kratos199

Junior Member

01-15-2015

well good idea i love it


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1DeSSaSteR1

Senior Member

01-15-2015

Quote:
kratos199:
well good idea i love it

Thank you for the feedback if you liked him upvote the post, every single like/view/comment is a step inti releasing this champion ^_^ thank you again for the feedback mate!


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1DeaTh1

Junior Member

01-15-2015

THIS CHAMPION IS AWESOME!!!!!!! THUMBS UP MATE!!!!! Riot please consider releasing it.